What Lies on the Horizon

This new year is something I've been thinking about a lot. Not just in terms of goals and resolutions, but in terms of where my heart is and what lies on the horizon. And it's finally time to catch some of those whirring, buzzing, humming fragments of thoughts. Time to string them together into something to share with you, because I'm a firm believer in the strength we can find in each other's journeys. I wouldn't blog if I didn't think that somehow, some way, the tangling threads of our stories matter to each other.


Last January, I set some lofty goals, writing-wise. (You can see them in detail HERE, if you're so inclined.) Another thing in which I am a believer is the value of looking forward to set goals, and looking back to see how far you've come. So before we look ahead, let's pause and turn around for a moment.

2017 goals

Finish the first draft of The Prophet's Key. Nope. Didn't make it. But I added 17,000 words to the rewrite I'd started in 2016, bringing the total word count up to 100k. I ground to a halt there, realizing just how bloated and huge the story was becoming. A course correction was needed, but at that point, leadership college was ramping up like crazy and I decided to put the project aside.


Began expanding The Brightest Thread into a novel. Check!


Go to Realm Makers. Another check! That was an incredible dream come true, one I hope to see come true again this summer.


Write, edit, and submit a story for Rooglewood Press's contest. Surprisingly, check again. Mirrors Never Lie is on some judge's desk right now, I imagine.


Complete the first draft of The Brightest Thread and do a round or two of edits so that it's poised to move forward (aka maybe get published) in 2018. First draft--check. A round or two-ish of edits earns another check. And is the novel "poised to move forward" now? I'd say it's poised to move into another round of edits, that's for sure, and then . . . well, we'll get to that in a minute.


Finish The Creative Way writing course by Ted Dekker. Um . . . no. This kept getting pushed back due to one reason or another, and I still have a handful of lessons to complete.


Possibly begin querying agents for TBT. I dipped my toes in the water by pitching it at the Realm Makers conference, but subsequently sent it to beta readers, knowing the novel needed more work. So querying didn't happen last year.

All in all, four out of seven, plus some progress on a couple of uncompleted goals, isn't bad!

Here's where I would turn my hopeful attention toward this year's list of aspirations . . . But again, we'll get to that soon.

The past two Januarys, I've set aggressive timelines for my writing goals. And there is a place for those kinds of plans. I don't regret pushing myself past my limits. Yes, I danced on the edge of burnout some weeks, but I learned valuable lessons about pacing myself, working hard, writing when the inspiration is gone, working under deadlines, juggling responsibilities, and what healthy (and unhealthy) creative practices look like. It was great!

But this year, I've realized I need to recognize what season of life I'm in. I am a student. And I won't be in school forever, so rather than resist the demanding schedule and the responsibilities, I want to thrive. That means balance. That means reframing school from a burden into a passion. That means taking care of myself by carving out pleasure reading and making sure I get enough sleep. That means soaking in time with family and saying yes to friends when I can (instead of no, sorry, I'm busy, come back when I graduate).

But the biggest dream I have for 2018, the one thing that I am finally allowing to overshadow everything else . . . is my friendship with God.

It's a little crazy, how even a year of Bible/leadership college didn't cause me to become more intentional about spending time with Him. I read my Bible every morning because we were given class time for it--which was so good, don't get me wrong--but the habit somehow didn't transfer to my home life. In fact, ever since leaving high school and wading into the big, wide world of adulthood, I feel like my devotion time has been irregular.

But busyness is a lousy excuse. (And please, before I go further, don't take this as a guilt trip for yourself! I simply want to be honest with what's been going through my head lately!) I am a quester, a pursuer, a dreamer, and a doer by nature. Give me a goal, and I will plot, list, track, and work my way toward it, for better or for worse. (This is not always a positive, guys.) But being a doer is little good if I'm not doing the right things in the right order. If I can devote myself to a novel I'm writing and show up day after day even if the well runs dry, can't I put the same energy into flipping open my Bible every day?

Yet this is about more than doing--although I do want to redirect that trait--this is about a relationship.

This is about Jesus being the first name on my lips in the morning and the last thought before I fall asleep.

This is about a dialogue with my Creator, the Lover of my soul.

This is about looking for Him in the everyday moments.

This is about being aware that He is here, always, and even if emotions run their own course I am never cut off from His love.

This is about a single-minded, single-hearted pursuit.

This is about seeking one kingdom above all others, and yet--

I don't know how to get there. I want to, badly, but it's not something you work up on your own or even work towards at all. It's less about my hands doing something, and more about my heart doing something. The only labor involved is that of laboring to "enter into that rest."

What I know right now is that every time I have hungered for more of God and cried out for a deeper knowing of Him, He has responded. And every time, all it took was asking . . . and then putting one foot in front of the other with my eyes open for an answer. Another thing I know right now is that I miss digging into the Word.

And those two things I know for sure? They're interconnected.

So my planning/listing/doing side is happy to have discovered a really cool Bible reading plan in the back of my new copy of The Voice translation. It's a plan that takes me slowly through the Bible in three years instead of one. That's exactly what I need right now, just a quiet, thoughtful walk through Scripture. It's not even chronological--in the past two weeks, I've dipped in and out of Genesis, Job, Psalms, and Proverbs. This plan takes up only 40 weeks a year, leaving time to investigate some suggested readings for Easter and Advent. So it's not a high pressure thing, and so far I'm loving it.

I'm journaling as I go, just jotting down whatever means something to me today, rather than trying to encompass everything as if I'm writing a scholarly essay. I'm rediscovering glimpses of this great narrative God has been weaving throughout history, and I'm stumbling upon little bits of it that are woven into my own life today.

Am I a changed person? Am I on some spiritual mountain right now? No. But this is slowly, surely being built into a habit, and I hope that the more I do it, the more it will pervade my thoughts and attitudes throughout the day.

It's a simple thing: seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things--all these dreams and lists and goals--will be added to you. This year, I want to actually try that, and not just fool myself into thinking I'm already doing it.

If you're anticipating some grandiose announcement of a hiatus, that's not coming! I'm not scrapping anything entirely, just shifting some priorities around. Like I said, I need to give myself room to enjoy my school studies and get back into a regular daily time with God.

So for the next few months, writing is taking a backseat. It's not out of the car entirely, but it's not the driver right now. Here's what I'm aiming for:

January-April: Slowly start organizing the beta feedback on The Brightest Thread. Possibly start working on a secret project I hinted at a couple months ago, which is still stewing in my mind. Possibly try my hand at some flash fiction to submit to magazines and whatnot. I'm giving myself the freedom to be sporadic and to take time off whenever needed. This is going to be playtime, not work time.

May-August: Edit The Brightest Thread. Assemble a list of literary agents and actually start querying. Attend Realm Makers in St. Louis (hopefully!!!) and pitch TBT again there. Finish The Creative Way course. Get that secret project off the ground for real. Maybe even make some tweaks to the blog to spiff it up and make it look more professional. It'll be summer, which means there will be time to power through some goals!

September-December: Totally depends on how the previous goals are going. Likely, I'll continue querying TBT, working on the secret project, and who knows? I might even be in a good spot to start casually planning my next novel. I'll be back in school, so I may ease off a bit again, though.

that's our heart-to-heart for today, friends.

I kind of hesitated to talk about the deep stuff, because I know things like prayer and devotions are highly personal (and I've been guilt-tripped by well-meaning writers and bloggers before, which I wanted to avoid here), and maybe you're not into that to begin with . . . But I think it's a good and healthy thing to be honest with each other. We've all been through dry spells, all struggled to form good habits in this area. And I couldn't talk about my writing goals without talking about why my approach is different this year.

What are YOU aiming for and dreaming about for 2018? Big or small, deep or more superficial, I'd love to hear it!