An Unfading Beauty

Ladies, this one's for you. (To any knights or squires who may be reading: no need to click away just yet. This describes the sort of lady worth pursuing. So read on.)

You should clothe yourself instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (1 Peter 3:4)

This verse used to bother me. A gentle and quiet spirit? Oh dear. I am sometimes harsh and judgmental, abrasive rather than gentle. I am sometimes loud, more often in my thoughts than verbally, but still not exactly quiet all the time. Nor do I always want to be gentle and quiet. Such a woman sounds meek in the negative sense of the word. She sounds like a doormat. A woman of pastel watercolors and soft speech. A woman who bows her head and silently allows others to direct and correct and stomp all over her. (Please keep in mind that some of the aforementioned qualities, in proper quantities, are positive. Accepting direction is a good thing!)

But you understand what I mean, right? This verse seems to set an impossible standard. Even the most introverted among us would struggle with it.

Then I discovered the real meaning behind it.

A woman with a gentle and quiet spirit is strong. She is confident. She is secure in her identity, in a Love eternal that defines her value. It is this peaceful strength glowing in the heart of a woman of God that overflows in gentleness. This woman radiates beauty.

She does not have to brashly force her way into the limelight. She does not have to spurn men to feel valued as a woman. She does not have to use hurtful sarcasm to feel important or accepted. She is not searching desperately for love. She already has it. She is secure and steadfast. She knows exactly who she is.

She is precious to the Lord.

A woman who knows that, truly knows in her heart--a woman who lays every insecurity down at the foot of the throne--has so much more room to extend that love toward others. She is gentle with them. She extends grace for their failings because she has accepted grace for hers.

And that part about being quiet? All you bubbly, talkative personalities can breathe easy. A quiet spirit is simply one at peace with herself and with God, not tormented by worry or fear or self-condemnation. Picture it like a glassy sea undisturbed by wind. Nothing fazes this spirit; it is one that laughs without fear of the future.

This peaceful confidence, this strength, is so incredibly beautiful. And I can't say I'm there yet. But I am on the journey. Will you join me?

To close, I'm taking a brief detour into country music, which my workplace subjects me to on a daily basis. (Somebody save me!) One of the few songs I actually like has some lyrics that fit today.

So your confidence is quiet
To them quiet looks like weakness
But you don't have to fight it
'Cause you're strong enough to win without a war

-Hunter Hayes, Invisible

There will be times when your gentle and quiet spirit may be perceived negatively. When you refuse to engage in an acidic conversation, or don't get riled up over an issue like everyone else is doing, they may think you don't care. They may think you are weak. But time will reveal the truth. Besides, what they think doesn't matter. Only what God thinks.

He says you are beloved.

And you are beautiful.